How Active Verbs Enliven Stories
Most writers tend to use too many passive verbs in their stories. Passive verbs “tell” readers what you, the author, think is the situation. They don’t allow readers to see, feel or experience the scenes for themselves. So they don’t pull readers into a story in an active, immediate or personal way. Passive verbs explain what happened to the character, as if the character was acted upon instead of being a character who took action. These can include was, were, had, seemed, thought, etc. Basically any verb whose action a reader can’t visualize is probably too passive to hold much impact. Another form of passive verb phrases are gerund phrases, which takes a normally active verb and adds an “-ing” to the end and precedes it with a “was” type verb, like “was running.” Yes, “run” is an active verb, but saddled with the “was” and “-ing” weakens it.
Certainly sometimes passives are just fine. They serve a real purpose—at times. But most times an active verb will enliven a sentence. And they are particularly essential in active, hot, tense scenes. For instance, in a scene where Sally is being pursued by bad guys and her car suddenly dies:
The motor went dead. Sally was scared and her hands were shaking more than ever as she took her hands off the steering wheel. Her mind was racing at a dizzying speed so that all she felt was numb.
This should be a tense scene, but we have 5 passives with only “took” a possibly visual act—but not too exciting at that. By activating the verbs you create the tension we need:
The motor died. Sally’s hands shook as she snatched them off the wheel in fear. Her mind raced at a dizzying speed as a cold numbness threatened to steal her breath.
See how much more intense this feels. We can see every action listed. The reader feels dizzy right along with Sally. We have verbs of actions we can see or feel in some way. Readers are suddenly in the story instead of being told about it.
Verb activation is probably the most important aspect of writing in general to create strong scenes. It falls under the “Show, Don’t Tell” adage presented to most writers early in their writing. Yet most—even though they nod wisely in agreement, fully understanding the importance in this simple method of activating verbs to activate their story—still slip back into the “was”s as they write. So be ruthless! Look with skepticism at every “was” and “were,” non-visual and “-ing” word. Replace them with active verbs and you’ll have a stronger scene!