Blog for Bristol Services Intl.

A client wrote to me about his fantasy manuscript:

QUESTION:
Sandra, am I wrong in not always explaining everything? If I don’t explain it when it first crops up, I will later, and the explanation is usually, I hope, a surprise.

ANSWER:
Surprises are great—if you are playing fair with the reader. Anything about a minor character or situation that offers small hints, inconsistencies in action, or questions in the protagonist’s mind can be–and need to be–subtly inserted to lay the groundwork for surprises. Maybe the character’s voice sounds hoarse most of the time, or she doesn’t even glance in the shoe store window, or the protagonist finds that, for once, here’s a girl he really likes but without the sexual tension that usually messes up all his relationships. These little things seem fine and develop her as a character. At the same time they are giving readers potentially inconspicuous clues.

So when “Surprise! She’s really a man!” enters the story, we thump our heads and say, “I should have seen that coming!” and we all love such surprises. But if there were no subtleties to subconsciously prepare us, it just feels like a trick and readers hate tricks as much as they love surprises.

HOW MUCH TO EXPLAIN:
As for explaining “everything,” gosh, no, that would be a boring manuscript! But you DO need to explain enough to make the situations clear. For instance, if you have a minor character who shows up in one scene, you do NOT need to explain all about him. But you can show what the protagonist sees or thinks about that person.

For instance: “What a shy little fellow,” Joey thought. His face lost in the shadows of that hat, he could be any number of the Smith clan that lived in Demming. But to come all this way to Marysville for just Joey’s autograph? The crowd moved and the little guy backed away, autograph in hand.

You don’t tell us that this autograph hound is really a stalker who has hated Joey since first grade. Or that he is Joey’s long-lost brother who has secrets too deep to be able to reveal himself. But we know through Joey’s thoughts that there is something about this person that might show up later. And when it does, it fits neatly into the “Surprise!” that makes reading such fun.

A client writing a memoir included glowing accolades for some people in his past. I suggested some changes and this is the question he posed to me:

QUESTION: “I only have one question on this point … I wonder what is the proper manner of keeping the characters in this Non-Fiction manuscript from being negative portrayals. I sincerely thought highly of these characters and hope not to offend any that I write about.”

ANSWER: Both fiction and non-fiction benefit from having characters in it who will relate to the reader. That means realistic portrayals. I think that you are mistaking negative portrayals with human portrayals. There is nothing wrong with showing that a person has minor oversights or weaknesses or inabilities. That makes them human and more believable to readers. If they are believable, then readers will appreciate–all the more–their shining qualities. The key is how you show that less-than-perfect trait.

For instance, if you show a roommate who borrows clothes and forgets to return them, is he shown as a thief or as forgetful?  If you show that you are aware he really isn’t a materialistic person in the first place, it makes him a forgetful human, not a thief.

How does the scene play out where you show that trait? Maybe you asked for your shirt back and he gave it back with another of his own too, not out of guilt but just because he thought you might need another. His forgetfulness is now overshadowed by his generosity. Maybe you WANTED to ask for it back but didn’t, because, seeing it on him–a person who meant so much to you in other ways–you didn’t have the heart to say a word. You come to realize that he doesn’t know where the shirt came from, and never intended to steal.  He didn’t keep track of things like clothes because they weren’t important to him. His seemingly negative trait is, in reality, a symptom of a greater, positive one: not being materialistic.

For another example: You stated that one person in your life was “unconventional.” In what way? Show his long braid or odd clothing or whatever appearance might have made him “odd” looking or sounding to others at first. This makes him real–but isn’t negative.

Maybe his guitar playing was mediocre but the words he sang sweet to the soul. Or his voice was raspy and harsh yet the sincerity behind his words was delighful. Again, his weaknesses or inabilities make him real, not bad. And we feel touched by him all the more.

SHOW, DON’T TELL: One more way to avoid over-zealous (hence, unbelievable) praise for characters is the common adage of “show, don’t tell.” Show scenes that prove out the fine qualities of your fictional characters or non-fictional people you wish to portray. Let those scenes be real and not filled with “was” statements about how glorious each person appeared in your eyes. Instead let the scenes demonstrate the kindness, caring, or encouragement, etc. as it was shown to you and to others. Then we readers, too, will see these people as real and wonderful for ourselves.