Blog for Bristol Services Intl.

QUESTION:

A writer-client asks: “I am doing a rewrite on my second book. The publisher wants a rewrite removing all “ly” adverbs and she said that there is too much telling.   Right now, I am not seeing it. I do know the rules (using stronger active verbs instead of passive verbs or verb phrases with either gerunds—‘-ing’ words—or adverbs—‘-ly’ words).  I am usually pretty good at it, but I sometime have a problem. With this story I am having a problem. Your help would be appreciated.”

SUGGESTION:

 I’m sure you can work through the revisions. Understanding the importance of active verbs is the first task. But seeing past our own “story” to enforce those “rules” can be tough.

 This technique might help. Like doing each sentence by itself and doing the book backwards! You’d take the LAST sentence and look at it alone. Use the “rules” to activate the verb and remove adverbs. Then do the previous sentence, etc.

The reason is that, once we’ve written a story, we KNOW  (or anticipate!) what the next sentence will be. Anything OTHER than what we expect seems …. well, wrong. The benefit of doing this backward, one-sentence-at-a-time method is that you isolate each sentence, NOT looking at overall story continuity at all, so you can concentrate on the verb situation without expectations nagging your subconscious.

WARNING:You must, however, be sure to NOT read anything other than that single sentence at a time until you are totally done with this backwards sentence approach. Then … read the whole from the start without stopping. How does it sound? Some spots will just “zing” I’ll bet.; others might be pretty awkward. Then re-read again to revise and keep those sentences that have suddenly perked up. Change any inconsistencies, improve transitions, etc.

At least for some writers, this is a way to clear the mind of past associations of the words and allow you to concentrate on a specific technique alone.

I’ve been asked this question a few times. Some authors ask if I’ll read an entire book prior to editing it, just to give them an overview, to see if it is worthy of full editing. I don’t work that way and for several reasons.

First, it takes the edge off my editing, because when I start the full edit I already expect certain things to go a certain way. Elements of surprise will be blunted and problems with inconsistencies wouldn’t be as apparent to me.

Second, your audience–both potential publisher and eventual reader–WON’T do an overall read first before settling in to read the full book. So I need to be critiquing it as those readers would: fresh and full-on just as they would be reading it. For instance, if you have a sudden switch in direction, does that switch work or does it feel jarring? Is the sudden appearance of a character make sense presented as you do? Did the hint about the broken pocketwatch in Chapter 3 set the reader up enough for seeing it again in Chapter 23?  If I’ve already read and know how these elements fit in, I can’t address as easily the impact your story will have on readers.

You CAN send me just the opening chapter or so (3,000 to 4,000 words for a $30 fee) for a sample of my editing approach which will include an overview of the story as presented in that opening. Frankly, this is the most important part of any book. If you don’t grab the reader, make them feel invested in your character, let them be thrilled with your presentation, then the rest is moot anyway.

So … consider making that opening just as tight and clean and fascinating as you can. Submit that to me for my editing service and we can go from there. At the worst, you’ll learn of changes that might be needed throughout the rest (and that isn’t so bad–a great investment for $30!). At the best, you’ll find you are already well on the way to having created “the Great American Novel.”

An author wrote to me, concerned that his book’s sudden switch in direction may be a problem for readers.
The answer is simple: do you offer a thread of continuity anywhere? If, at the outset on the new section, this is the same locale only a century later, or same date but in another country, or same dog but in a different park pestering different characters, then the reader sees a thread of connection. Their brain says, “Okay, same place (or day or dog), new era (or place or characters), let’s see what’s going on.”

Remember, readers are very familiar with stories whose parts seem very separate until “Wham!” somehow they collide into a central plot. The key is having some small thing that is a tenuous thread between them. It can be locale (same place, different time), family (same family, different offshoot or different generation), some big turmoil (same war, different front or battlefield), an object (anything that can end up in someone else’s hands at a different place or time), etc. Just a thread is all we astute readers need. And then we’ll willingly (most of the time!) jump right into the other section, trusting our author to pull the fabric of the story together later.

TONE/GENRE: If we don’t go along so willingly, this can be caused by any number of reasons. For instance, if the overall tone of the original section of the book varies greatly from the next section, now that can be a problem. The reason is that the reader might not have even started your book if that second tone had been there at the outset. It is like starting a fantasy (which I like) and then being switched off to a modern romance (not my preference in reading at all). That wouldn’t be fair and, most likely, I’d quit reading–never a good thing! Potential publishers will, likewise, be turned off by that much of a genre switch–they won’t know what audience would be appropriate for marketing. And marketing is their primary focus.

TIME VARIABLES: Jumps in time will always have tonal variations simply because in each era people speak and think differently. Yet most of the time the author’s voice will still be consistent even while writing for various eras, so there is an underlying author’s tone that will carry us readers through.

Bottomline: Just keep in mind the reason that you have both these plots going simultaneously in the same book and keep hints of that reason and their similarities apparent to your reader as you write.